Friday, November 16, 2018
Sherry's Memorial
On June 11, 2018, Sherry commented that it was nice to be around for her memorial and to be able to enjoy it before she died. This will give a sense of that experience.
On June 6th, Sherry was enrolled in a hospice program following two brief hospitalizations just a week apart at the end of May. She didn't want to be hospitalized again or even go to the emergency room. We told a very limited number of people about Sherry being in hospice – our children, grandson, Lisa - our wonderful next door neighbor who is like family (and also a Palliative Care physician and the one who suggested hospice), and Rita - the Respiratory Therapist who had weaned Sherry off a ventilator in 2015. Rita had not only declared herself Sherry's “Respiratory Friend For Life,” but had proven to be exactly that.
Sunday, June 10th, was our 51st wedding anniversary. Lisa, who checked on Sherry daily and stopped by frequently, sent a text that said “Hello and happy anniversary to one of the coolest couples I know!” My sister, Sharon, in California, remembers everyone's special days and her anniversary card with a pair of penguins on the front said “Every year it just gets more and more obvious... that you two were SO made for each other.” She had no idea how special card was at that time.
Monday we were continuing a thread of text messages with Rita to figure out when she could visit. That morning's text from Rita included the following: “My daughter's best friend got engaged Sunday. I told her about a love story (without names) that I have been blessed to witness.”
At the visit to her family doctor, for follow up to Sherry's hospitalizations, we told him about the end of life plan that had been created. He not only whole heartedly endorsed the plan, but told her what a pleasure it has been for him to be her doctor for several decades, and what a wonderful example she set for others.
Rita visited on June 14th, after which she sent another text which included a comment that while sitting in our kitchen she realized how much she missed us and added that “Sherry has a quiet, knowing spirit that is most calming.”
On June 24th, we went to the Guthrie Theatre, where we saw an amazing performance of West Side Story. By this time, Sherry was needing to spend quite a bit of time on a BIPAP machine during the day. With the help of our daughter and Sue, who had been Sherry's supervisor when she was a volunteer concierge there, we were able to arrange things so Sherry could spend some time on the BIPAP before the show, during intermission and after the show, as well as if she had problems during the show. Sue made it clear they would do whatever it took to make things work for Sherry.
During our decades as Guthrie season ticket holders, we became friends with another couple who had tickets on the same schedule as ours. The gentleman in the couple was also in a wheelchair due to a severe injury, so they were seated in handicapped seating near us. When we had been there for a previous performance, John commented that if we ever stopped going to the Guthrie, they'd like to see if they could get our seats. Before the June 24th show, Sherry decided to tell John that she was enrolled in hospice and that he might, therefore, get those seats sooner than he thought. John was very moved, supportive and affectionate to Sherry. He told her she was one of the nicest people he had ever known.
After the show, while I was getting our vehicle, Sue was in the lobby. She gave Sherry several hugs and told her a couple of times that she loved her.
The hospice staff with whom we interacted for the remaining months were all impressed not only with Sherry's strength, but with what a really delightful person she was to have as a patient. They verbalized it repeatedly. She was often told how much they looked forward to their visits to her and about how fondly she was talked about at staff meetings.
Our first notice to the hospice staff of Sherry's decision to let nature take its course was when I told her bath aide on Friday morning that this would be the last bath. That information spread quickly after the aide left and that afternoon Shannon, the aide who had been Sherry's first bath aide (until she was promoted to a supervisor position), came by. Sherry just loved Shannon and it meant a lot to Sherry to be able to see her one more time.
Her Hospice Nurse, Annie, came later that afternoon to prepare the comfort medications that would make everything go so smoothly on Sunday and to answer any questions we had. Lisa was there too, and they were able to reassure Sherry's that the process would be comfortable. Although Sunday was Annie's day off, she came by a couple of times on the way to and from personal activities to see how Sherry was doing. Sherry was thrilled to be able to see Annie, who she dearly loved.
Too often, the expressions of love and admiration for someone don't come until after the person is gone. Sherry was not one of those people because she was able to hear them while she was still alive. Her family is so grateful to all of those who let Sherry know how special and amazing she was and who gave her the hugs she so enjoyed.
CALL Minneapolis (612) 200-2777 or duluth (218) 208-0377
Call Us
