Obituary of Avis Pauline Frethem

Frethem, Avis Pauline (Larson)

Avis died peacefully in her home in Richfield, MN , on December 7, 2023, just two months shy of reaching her 99th birthday. She was surrounded by loved ones, as she’d hoped she would be. She was a devoted and beloved daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. The last to pass away in her immediate family, she was preceded in death by her parents, Lester S. and Sophia Rauk Larson; husband, M.H. Frethem; sisters, Marie Tolley, Beata Hogue, Julie Anne Farmer; and brother, Lester Robert “Bob” Larson. Avis will be missed greatly by her children, Jennifer (Jeremy) DeFiebre, Chris (Gail) Frethem, Todd Frethem, and Mark Frethem; her grandchildren, Rachel (Michael) Tuhy, Chad Thurman, Joel (Livia) Thurman, Andreas Kocher, Martin Kocher, Katarina Kocher; and her great grandchildren, Alec Tuhy, Sophie Tuhy, Christina Tuhy.

A memorial event / Celebration of Life will be held at a later date; est. spring, 2024. Memorials preferred to Feline Rescue, Inc. (https://felinerescue.org/); Ecumen Hospice (https://www.ecumen.org/give-now/), or Donor’s Choice.

Arrangements by Cremation Society of MN.

Avis was born February 28, 2025, in Nerstrand, MN. She was proud of her small town roots, and was always eager for return visits. She graduated from Faribault (MN) High School; Class of 1942, having enjoyed a taste of royalty as Homecoming Queen. Her death leaves her Homecoming King, William “Bill” Kummer, as the sole surviving member of that class of ’42. They kept in touch for many years.

She attended the University of Minnesota; a member of the Delta Zeta Sorority, and earned a BS Degree in Medical Technology. She began her Medical Technologist career in 1947, at St. Barnabas Hospital; Minneapolis, and continued working in the field she loved for 35 years until her retirement from Abbott-Northwestern Hospital.

Avis married M. Harland “Duke” Frethem in November, 1948; that handsome young guy and former naval aviation cadet from nearby Kenyon, MN, who had delivered the newspapers to her family’s home in Nerstrand. They bought their first home in Richfield in 1950. There, she and “Duke” raised four children, sharing child rearing and home care duties so she could continue to work, usually part time evening shifts. It wasn’t always easy for them, but as the kids grew everyone was expected pitch in and help when they could. Avis was sometimes called upon to help in other ways, too, since women who worked in health care in those days usually wore white uniforms when going and coming from work. So, it was assumed by some neighbors

and their kids that she must be the right person to go to when they had a cut or a scrape. She helped them out, but didn’t lavish much sympathy on “crybabies”!

Avis and Duke’s hard work and sacrifices helped put all of their children through the U of MN or technical school. There were no fancy vacation trips, except one to California in 1962 with a pop-up tent trailer in tow behind a badly underpowered station wagon. The kids thought it was grand; Duke not so much! Most trips were much shorter, to visit “the folks” near Nerstrand and in Kenyon, and in the summers to visit with aunts, uncles, and cousins. Grandma Sophia’s farm near Nerstrand was a cherished retreat from city life, especially for her children.

Things that Avis loved to do when she wasn’t working at the hospital included visits with her family (or Duke’s), friends, and coworkers. Trips to see her brother Bob and her sister-in-law Joan Larson back home in Nerstrand were frequent but nonetheless special, as was time “up north” in Grand Rapids, MN with her cousin Lucille (Larson) Libbey and Lucille’s husband Wes, and their family. She mostly enjoyed simple home life; quilting, crocheting, gardening, yard work, over-the fence talk with neighbors, etc. Likewise, baking occasional treats. Her cookies and toffee bars were Christmas favorites. And lefse, of course. (She leaned toward thin & crispy, but had to admit that the thick, soft ones rolled up better). She enjoyed crossword and jigsaw puzzles, convinced that they helped keep her mind sharp and her hands supple ‘til the very last of her days. She felt it essential that she keep up with world, national, and local news and politics, and felt passionate about many issues. She enjoyed travel and hoped to do more in her retirement years. But travel was limited because of Duke’s health challenges later in life. Nevertheless, she visited Norway (with Duke), France, Great Britain, Switzerland, Hawaii, and cruised through the Panama Canal. She was always glad to hear tales of the travel adventures of her kids and grandkids.

And, of course, she loved cats. No unfortunate stray in need of a loving home would be turned away. Love, tenderness, and patience worked wonders. These now “civilized” cats returned the love and affection many times over, to her delight.

Duke passed away in 1999, shortly after he and Avis celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Avis was crushed by his loss but carried on with her usual courage, strength, and love for her family.

In her later years, Avis continued to live in her Richfield home, determined to be as independent as possible. In the lat few months of her life, her grandson Chad Thurman and Kristen Adams volunteered to live with her to provide round-the-clock expert support and assistance, even as they continued to work their regular jobs. Her wish was to be able to end her life in that home she loved. And so she did.

Anyone who knew Avis found out quickly that she was proud of her Norwegian heritage. Throughout her life, like her mother Sophia who lived to 102, this self-described “tough Norwegian” sometimes had to be reminded, right up to her final days, that even she might have some vulnerabilities worthy of caution.

Avis would want to express her heartfelt thanks to her caregivers and the doctors and nurses who helped her live to a ripe old age. In particular, her primary physician, Dr. Karen Krenik, both an excellent doctor and a trusted friend. Also, the doctors, nurses, and other staff at Abbott Hospital and Hennepin County Medical Center, and the nurses, therapists, and other staff who cared for her following her tragic falls at home and her subsequent stroke. Last, but certainly not least, thanks to those special family members, friends, and former coworkers who visited her in her difficult final days, in person or by phone. It brought her great comfort.

In closing; a poem comes to mind when thinking of Avis, and especially how she felt about her children. She often said so, in her own words, through her last days.

 

A Mother's Love Knows No Bounds

 

From the first moment when you hold

a tiny babe in your arms and smile

through tears of tender emotions

until you draw your final breath

 

a Mother's love knows no bounds

 

to feel the purest joy, when you look

into the laughing face of your child;

knowing that a part of you, grows

within this miracle of life created

 

by you, with God's grace

 

it's not just the genetic strain,

your child carries the hopes and dreams of loving parents; wishes

for a life filled with happiness

 

in a world bathed with sunshine

 

even through the difficult times

of growing pains and rebellion

your arms will always be open

with hugs to take away the pain

 

because a Mother's love knows no bounds

Margaret Denham