Obituary of Gratia "Gay" Claire Ouellette (nee Howard)

OUELLETTE, GRATIA (“GAY”) CLAIRE (nee HOWARD)

5/15/1923 – 11/3/2022

Nearly a century on Earth, Gratia’s ready smile, keen wit, and unbending constitution yielded to forces of nature as she passed from this realm in peace.

She follows parents: H. Clifton and Frances Howard; siblings: Richard Stanton (Esther), Dorothy Lind, Herbert Howard (Violet); beloved husband: Louis Ouellette; and daughter: Liliane Vanda.

Reluctantly, she leaves children: Frances Ouellette, Claire Ouellette (Gregg Zimmer), Lou Ouellette (Becky), Grace Ouellette; grandchildren: Matt Vanda (Cyndi) and Miles Vanda (Eveline); four great-grandchildren; many nieces, nephews, extended family, and countless friends.

A native of St. Paul, MN, she grew up in the post-WWI depression era. She graduated from St. Paul Central High School in 1940, as WWII was advancing. That fall, she lived through the Armistice Day Blizzard. She was attending a secretarial college when Pearl Harbor was bombed. The attack made a deep impression on her. In 1943, she was among the first women to enlist in the U.S. Marine Corps. Stationed at Camp LeJeune, she reached the rank of Staff Sergeant and proudly served our nation until being honorably discharged in 1945. During her enlistment, she met her future husband, Louis Ouellette, a native of Taunton, MA. They married in 1944. A short time later, he was deployed overseas as she continued her service stateside. While apart, they stayed connected through handwritten letters. Reunited in 1946, they moved to her hometown to start the next chapter of their lives.

She put herself through the U of M on the GI bill, graduating in 1950 with a bachelor’s degree in political science. That same year, with their first-born toddler in tow, her husband was called back to serve in the Korean war. For them, service to their country was paramount. So, duty bound, they met this challenge head-on. She managed household and parental duties by herself while her husband again faced combat overseas. While deployed, he braved, and survived, the brutal battle at the Chosin Reservoir. Those were difficult times. Together, they persevered, and moved on.

They reared five children, while making ends meet. She was resourceful and creative, tapping her homemaking skills to form special family memories. She stayed true to her life-long passion for swimming and playing piano. Civic-minded, she opened their home to foster children, took on the role of literacy tutor, served as a Girl Scout troop leader, stayed active in church and professional group activities, and volunteered for non-profits.

In the late 1960s, she began a 17 years-long career as Executive Secretary for the Dean of the College of Pharmacy at the U of M. She passed the board exam to become a Certified Professional Secretary in 1975. Afterward, she served as Chapter President of the Professional Secretaries Association.

Following retirement, she and her husband moved to Lakeland, MN. They enjoyed travel, family gatherings, cheering for local sports teams, and walking by the St. Croix River. She reveled in reciting poetry from memory. Reading was a joy. Few things entertained her more than telling or hearing a good story. She genuinely cared about others, wanting to know what mattered to them. She paid attention.

Her husband passed away in 1999. She carried on, lovingly supported by her devoted eldest daughter, Fran. Although her strength waned as her time drew near, her mind remained sharp. In her final hours, she managed to say “it’s all right.” Even then, she sought to reassure and encourage those around her.

Gratia’s family is grateful to St. Anthony Park Home staff for the care they provided to her. Following a private family service, she will be laid to rest at Ft. Snelling National Cemetery, next to her husband. In lieu of memorials, please honor Gratia by engaging in acts of kindness.